You are in the midst of a spiritual initiation. However, like in any journey towards enlightenment, you must first surrender your ego. Be willing to sacrifice control in order to tap into the reservoir of inner riches. There is no easy way to find success when your aim is incongruent with your heart. A dilemma around the 20th will likely be the cause of some internal conflict; should you or should you not, is the question. Trust your intuition instead of the voice of reason; solutions come by way of insight, not strategy.