By Lalia Wilson
Probably the number one question from clients is about love and the associated topics of sexuality and relationships. What ethical guidelines should you have here? What personal prejudices should you put aside? How can you best serve your client?
As before in articles about money and health, let me remind you that everyone you read for deserves your best efforts and is a “client,” even if no money changes hands and you are just learning how to read the cards. Your words have power. People will remember what you say. Do your best to help and to avoid harming others.
Ethically, your best approach is to read directly for the client in front of you. Rephrase their questions, with their consent, into questions about themselves. Thus, instead of “Is my husband having an affair?” you may try “How can I keep my husband’s sexual attention?”
For best results—that is the best chance of assisting your client—ask open-ended questions rather than yes or no questions. It will be more helpful to ask "What kind of love is in my future?" rather than "Will I find love?" You may find love with a new puppy, but what you wanted was a human lover.
Let's take a look at prejudices you may have about love and who deserves it. Should you read for the public, you will come across these issues. Thinking about them in advance helps. First, everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to find love. This includes people you may think are "too young," or "too old," for love. This includes beautiful people and ugly people. This includes straight, gay and bisexual people. This includes people of every race, ethnicity, and religion. Everyone wants to love and be loved.
Then let’s look at what love is. Everyone has different ideas of what an ideal love relationship should be and that goal for love changes as they grow older and gain more life experience. Many young people seek the hormonal “high” of a new love relationship. Those a little bit older realize that responsibilities come along with the sexual high of a new relationship. People in established relationships need to figure out how to keep love together. Older folks look for more peace and companionship—though sexuality is life-long. Then we have platonic love, love for friends, relatives, and pets, which are legitimate forms of love, but not usually a person's primary love interest or concern.
Your choice of which cards to use implies an approach to love as well. The standard Rider-Waite-Smith deck (and those very closely related) is pretty buttoned up regarding sexuality. Some decks are clearly pointed at very young readers and clients and are not overtly sexual. Some are more romantic and spiritual—such as the Mucha Tarot with art in the style of Alphonse Mucha and published by Lo Scarabeo or the Ghost Tarot by Davide Corsi and published by Lewellyn. Some are explicitly sexual and not suitable for use with just anyone—such as the Manara Erotic Tarot illustrated by Milo Manara and published by Lo Scarabeo. If you have multiple decks, use one that will resonate with your particular client.
Now let’s look at some helpful questions about love. These are just a few questions that will start you thinking about what would be helpful for your client:
“How can I attract love?”
“How can I maintain a loving relationship with X?”
“What love is coming my way?”
“What is a deal-breaker to me in love?”
“How can I leave this unhealthy relationship?”
“What kind of relationship is in my future?”
“How can I create a love that is playful, sexual, and joyous?”
This is plenty for you to work with this month. May you be of greater service and support to all you read the cards for.
The cards used to illustrate this article are The Devil and the Two of Cups from The Wheel of the Year Tarot by Maria Caratti, with art by Antonella Platano and published by Lo Scarabeo.